sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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