it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
