I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
