you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
