i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
