Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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