One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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