??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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