I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
