So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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