I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
