is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
