i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
being pregnant is like rehab
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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