After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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