A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
