im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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