South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
