I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I looked at my own cervix.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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