yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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