If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize