Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Randomize
