Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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