So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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