I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
