I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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