Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
