so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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