You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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