do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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