i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
