please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're too hungover to prance.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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