just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize