I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
