You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
