I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
