spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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