it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
