So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
