There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
