We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
