What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I fill condoms, not promises.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
