so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
