Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize