So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
