just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
