Im at strip club and am horny
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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