I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you would pick up someone in the library
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
