Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
