He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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