No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
