So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
