my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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