also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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