i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
