this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
whose ass print is on the piano?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
