FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
nutella sex= disaster
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
