he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
