Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
