there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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