then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
