I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
