this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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