Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
