lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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