dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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