I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
