i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
