I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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