Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
