I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
